Relationships come down to one important thing: communication. Whether it is a budding new relationship or in maintaining one that has been around a while. It can also be in the lack of verbal communication that we have towards those that we consider less than friends and the increased body language and/or passive-aggressiveness towards people we might call our “enemies.”
Finding the courage to speak from the heart in a loving way can be challenging. Sometimes our emotions can take over + we may say things we regret. Or worse, we say things that hurt others to make us feel better. I can tell you from experience, taking things out on friends, family, even enemies make make you feel better when you say them, but it is fleeting.
I drove passed a church a few months ago + the sign read, “Love your enemies. It confuses them.” Ain’t that the truth! Have you ever tried smiling, laughing or hugging someone when you are in the middle of an argument? Try it. Marriage counselors say couples who can laugh at each other in the middle of arguments are more apt to “make it” for the long haul.
If we can clear space in our own hearts + minds, we can find it easier to communicate with love and let go of others actions and behaviors. Something that out of our control anyhow.
As a mom + a wife, I notice when I am stressed about something, I have less space to deal with “the rest” of life. My communication becomes more internal. My monkey mind talks nonstop. Then, when that inevitable bump in the road comes, my communication to others is not always well thought out.
How to Make Friends, Influence People + Confuse Your Enemies
1. Stop biting your tongue. Studies show that people who stuff their feelings tend to deal with more disease. Find a way to express your emotions.
2. Don’t be afraid of who you are + how you feel. People who were meant to be your friends will appreciate all that you are! Others weren’t and that is A-OKAY.
3. When you communicate with someone, be sure to speak to how you are feeling instead of in an accusatory manner. Be clear + concise.
4. Be a listener. Especially when if you are usually a talker. We are all deserving of an ear. Don’t bogart the microphone in a relationship.
5. Take the “me” out of the equation. You know the ole’ “how could they do this to me?” feeling. Nope. Throw it out. The hardest thing to realize is that it is NEVER about us.
6. Be kind + compassionate. Remember that we are all dealing with our own private wars.
7. Take time to clear your mind + understand feelings that arise within you. You’ll be stronger + radiate more sunshine if you can navigate through events in your life + find the silver lining. Remember, we attract the like to our life. Don’t we all want more sunshine than rain.
8. Allow yourself space + time to deal with those feelings. We all have rainy days, and that is fine.Be patient + kind as you learn to work through the emotional stuff.
9. Meditate. Just take some time to breathe deeply into the belly. It will give you the space + peace to help.